Waffling

In celebration of the upcoming National Waffle Iron Day on June 29th, I decided that is was time for me to finally purchase a waffle iron. I've been talking about buying one for several years now, but apparently the time (and price) was right.

To be clear, National Waffle Iron Day should not be confused with National Waffle Day, which is on August 24th, or International Waffle Day, which is March 25th. Basically there seems to be a whole lot of reasons to eat waffles. Of course, now that I have my own waffle iron, every day is basically waffle day. Why not?

Having picked up the finest $20 waffle iron that money can buy and subsequently named him "Tommeke", I headed over to the Giant to check out the selection of batter mixes.





 Now, I'm fully aware that the best waffle batter is homemade. However, I figured it'd be more entertaining to subject myself the various chemical concoctions that is pre-made waffle/pancake/biscuit batter.

I also had no idea that there was such a wide selection...

I ended up choosing the Bisquick Shake 'n Pour and the Classique Fare Belgian Waffle Mix with it's retro 1970s packaging.

The only thing that's missing is the classic shot of the 1970s family enjoying a hearty meal?












Surprisingly, the Shake 'n Pour waffles actually turned out ok as far as pre-mixed batter goes. Nothing special really, but perfectly decent if you can get over the fact that you're pouring pre-made batter out of a plastic jug. Aside from the amusing packaging, the Classique Fare mix was pretty bad. Despite using the mix instructions on the box and trying varying waffle temperature settings, the waffles never cooked right. I was mostly left with half-cooked waffle goo that had to be scraped off the iron with a fork. Go ahead and chuckle at the box next time you see it in the store, but definitely buy another brand.

Next up I'll be talking about making home made choco tacos...the latest trend in hipster foods.

Chocolate Pudding Disaster

A friend of mine, who was recovering from recent dental surgery, made an off-hand comment that her favorite brand of pudding was Swiss Miss. Aside from the the one time I (accidentally) made rice pudding, I don't really eat pudding. Why would I? My last recollection of pudding comes from the plastic snack packs that I pleadingly convinced a friend to trade to me during elementary school lunch and the infamous "pudding parties" that, so far, I have only experienced in the state of Michigan.

A little about the "pudding party", I've asked a few people and it seems to be a regional thing. Basically there's a gigantic vat of pudding, there's a party going on, you're supposed to bring your own cup, and the place ends up a mess. The gigantic pudding vat always seemed similar to what eventually became the chocolate fountain you see in the Golden Corral commercials, so I (wisely) stayed far far away.

Either way, my friend was somewhat insulted by my dismissive attitude on the higher qualities of pudding, so in order to better educate myself, I picked up a few samples at the supermarket.


Sample 1: Jello Chocolate Flavor

If the winner was determined based on on how many ingredients it has, then this is number 1. I count about 20 ingredients for the Jello brand! The flavor is pretty subdued, but at least it's not overpowered by fake chocolate taste. 5/10

Sample 2: Snack Pack Chocolate Flavor

Despite having been refrigerated for several hours, the pudding wasn't even remotely cold. Bad sign? Maybe they could use it as an insulating material in aerospace technologies?


Even though the Snack Pack has a shorter ingredient list than the Jello brand pudding, the taste is still overpowered by a distinct fake chocolate flavor. Maybe it's the Carrageenan? 4/10

Sample 3: Swiss Miss Chocolate Flavor

Basically tastes about the same as the Jello brand. 5/10

Sample 4: Zen Chocolate Flavor

This brand was actually pretty decent and is closest to what "real" pudding tastes like. It's made with almond milk and is soy/dairy/gluten free. Aside from our friend Carrageenan, the ingredient list doesn't seem to have any other long and unpronounceable names. 7/10

After trying a whopping four cups of pudding in a sitting, I'm pretty much ready to avoid pudding for another decade. In the meantime, does anyone want some free pudding cups? (Hope my co-workers like this stuff.) The store wouldn't let me buy them one at a time and at this point I really REALLY don't want to eat any more pudding.

Pizza Wizard

Upon taking a look in the fridge the other morning, my immediate impression was, "what the hell?"

No, I hadn't just tried Taco Bell's brand new breakfast drink.

Not too long ago I decided to try the pizza at Mellow Mushroom on 18th St. I ordered the "Kosmic Karma" pizza, which had sun dried tomatoes, spinach, feta, roma tomatoes and pesto. Sure, it sounds good on paper, but after a pitcher of Bells, all I could remember was the overpowering taste of butter.

That alone makes the score fall somewhere between poor-quality grocery store frozen pizza and Papa Johns. I don't think I was too bothered though, since apparently my pizza was summoned by a wizard.

Gummy Tardis

If I have a weakness for any sort of junk food, it's definitely for gummies. Some people like chocolate, I like gummies.

A few years ago my parents, knowing my fondness for both gummies and Doctor Who, sent me a massive three pound bag of Jelly Babies from Britain. By the time I finished the bag I was pretty sick of the damn things.

After seeing a photo from a friend's camping trip, I decided that I really needed some gummy snacks. The temptation for completely artificial rubbery goodness was overpowering. I needed to buy groceries anyway, so I hopped on my bike and rode over to the supermarket.

The selection was fairly disappointing, but in the end I bought a bag of Swedish Fish.

Because when life's choices are underwhelming, you can always rely on Swedish Fish.






Maybe I should have succumbed to morbid curiosity and tried a bottle of Beefamato?

Photo by

Michael Coté

Beets

The Harris Teeter canned goods aisle yesterday had me thinking about my experiences with beets a while back.

Not too long ago an article came out in the Journal of Applied Physiology about how beet juice boosts stamina. A few friends of mine read the claims that beet juice can lower your blood pressure and increase your ability to exercise by up to 16%. Next thing you know, everyone is out buying beets and pouring over craigslist ads to find secondhand Jack LaLanne juicers.

Amateur endurance athletes are a funny bunch. Generally the trend goes something like this --

1) Athlete reads an article about vegetable x or juice of vegetable y increases recovery/boosts endurance/lactate capacity etc.

2) Athlete goes to grocery store and buys a large quantity of vegetable.

3) Athlete over consumes vegetable.

4) Athlete experiences either no gains, or marginal gains that are most likely due to placebo effect.

5) Athlete gets sick of vegetable and goes back to their normal diet.

I'm not immune to this sort of behavior. I'll admit that I did go to the grocery store and purchased a few 99 cent cans of red beets in water.

I also realized why I never liked beets -- they smell like dirt. Cleaned, cooked, or canned, beets smell like dirt when they're being prepared.

If I wanted to get a healthy taste of dirt, I would have ridden in the Poolesville Road Race yesterday. In the meantime, I'm ok with suffering 16% more if it means avoiding a diet of beets.

Want to offer a beet recipe to change my mind? Try me.

It's Real

Someone out there actually went ahead and made kale ice cream.

I'd probably only try it under duress, but I do find the whole kale obsession to be pretty amusing.

Ice Cream and Kale

Why hasn't Ben & Jerry's jumped on the kale craze and made some sort of kale related ice cream?

They could call it Kaleing Me Softly: Chocolate Chip Ice Cream with Real Kale Chunks